I guess when you grow up in the church distortions of Christ are funny.
Who would have know that a simple joke would have gone so far?
It all started on a hot Thursday afternoon. Sheryl and I what playing church in the chapel while Mama and the rest of her bible study group where reading passages. I was pretending to be preacher while Sheryl was playing choir master. I through my arms in the air waving my hands. I would hop up and down at the end of each sentence. I sauntering up and down the isles pointing directionless at my invisible congregation yelling like Bishop Thomas all ways did
“The end is coming” I shouted.
“Are you prepared? Are you prepared? Have you given yourself to him? Are you prepared?”
Sheryl shouted back halalus and Amens. She would through her hand up and scream preach child and I did. I preached and preached. It would take all of our strength to hold back our laughter. Just then Momma and the entire women’s alter society walked in.
I hear that stern calm voice say “just what are you doing young lady”. I didn’t know what to say. Did I tell her it was just a joke, all in fun? Did I scream I’m sorry and through my self on the floor crying or did I just say I don’t know. I wish I had done any of those things, but instead I put my hand on my head and just went limp. I allowed my body to fall to the plush red carpet and just laid there. One of the ladies walked over to shake me. I showed her no reaction. A few more of them came over to see if I was ok.. Then I acted as if just waking from a sleep or daze. I fluttered my eyes and cleared my throat with a deep grumble. My performance was better than Mrs. Johnson’s when she caught the ghost every Sunday.
Mom asked me “what happen to you “
I replied “ I don’t know I was just sittin here”.
She said “when I came in here you where screen and preaching. I stared at her blank face as if amazed myself and said “I was?”.
Moma looked at Sheryl in an expression we know demanded explanation.
“Yeah you was” was all she said as she looked at me with a wide eyed jittery stair.
Sheryl looked as white as a ghost her self but she wasn’t acting. She was never good at lying but I knew she would fallow my lead.
All I said then was “mama I don’t remember no prechin”
She just stared with her straight face
Ms. Tucker asked “girl you don’t remember nothing”
“no maim” I said.
Mrs. Phillips yelled. “She must have had the spirit in her. Did you hear her? Did hear her? She was preaching Peter”.
All the women began to talk at once. It blended in to indiscernible mumbling. I simply sat and stared at them. Then I hard it the statement that would take my life to a new place.
“We have to tell Pastor Taylor.”
Why didn’t I stop it there.
Pastor Taylor was a large man with skin as black as coal He always stood with perfect poster scanning all that was around him. His face always stern and emotionless. His eye were intense, yet unlike many very dark-skinned men, they didn’t stand out on his face like big white marbles they slowly blended into his face. However his eyes where piercing, all knowing and it often felt as if he could see your thoughts. As hypnotizing as his eye where what stood out most about this man was his voice. It was like thunder.
Pastor Taylor didn’t have to scream and shot when he was on the pulpit, like many other preachers did. He spoke with a calm slow pace. No one could help but pay attention to the deep rumbling voice that pored out of Pastor Taylor’s large barrel chest. I often heard people say it felt like the voice of God. When Pastor Taylor spoke our usually noisy congregation sat silently almost motionless hanging on his every word.
Mama took Sheryl and I home and she didn’t say another thing about it. She didn’t even tell daddy about it. After a few hours I had stopped thing about the incident all together. Late that night I hear Sheryl calling my name from bed.
“Vernie, Vernie” she shouted in whispers.
“Vernie are you awake”
I hated it when she bothered me in the middle of the night.
I tried to ignore her hoping that she would stop and leave me alone. But she continued.
“Vernie”
“ Vernie answer me”
Finally I replied “what is it Sheryl”
I just wanted to know what you thought was going to happen is all.
“Happen with what” I said
I knew what she was talking about but didn’t want her to think I cared about it. Sheryl could always get herself worked up over things
“What do you think is going to happen when Mrs. Phillips and those other ladies tell Pastor Taylor. About you Preaching”
“Notin Sheryl”
“What you mean notin, they think you had the ghost.”
“So” I said
“they will forget all about it. In a couple of days they will start to gossipin about some thing else”
“Are you sure Vernie I don’t want to get in no trouble”
“I’m sure, trust me as soon as Ms. Freda walks in to church on Sunday with one of her mini shirts. They will be run to Pastor Taylor askin him to do some thing about that. They will for get all about me “
“You sure” Sheryl whispered in freighted little voice.
“Yes I’m sure” I said
“Now go to sleep”
The truth was I was not sure . I was just hopeful that something more interesting would happen to over shadow my lie. Besides who card about some kid preaching anyway.
Friday and Saturday simply past as always. As always Sheryl and I did our Saturday morning chores, earning up the rest of the day to go play. There was no talk of punishment, preachin, or church at all. That Sheryl she almost had me scared. But like I said no one is even thinking about me.
Well there goes that thought. Who cares about some kid preaching, Pastor Taylor that’s who. You who think he had better things to do but apparently not. After Sunday church Daddy walked over to pastor Taylor to shake his hand as he always did. Pastor Taylor flashed him a big smile with his amazingly white teeth and said
“So Jimmy, I hear we have a preacher in the family”
Daddy gave him a confused stair and said
“What do you mean”
Momma walked over and Said to pastor Taylor
“I wouldn’t worry nothing about that”
Pastor Taylor replied
”Are you kidding me, it not every day that the spirit comes upon a child. For that mater it is not every day that the lord blesses any of us adult or child alike, with the talent for speaking his word”
Mamma replied “ well, yes, but….”
But we have to do some thing about it “ pastor Taylor replied”
“ When Atty Phillips an Charity Herman came to me yesterday and told me how Lavern had the sprit and was preachin, well first I have to admit I was shocked, but then I knew it was a blessing from the lord.”
“a blessing from the lord” Mamma repeated
“Well thank the lord , our Vernie” daddy added
Pastor Taylor continued “ I knew we had to get her on the right path to using her gift”
“ her gift Mamma” repeated
Yes we can let something this special go to waste” Pastern Taylor added
All I could do was stand there and watch as my future as it was doled out. I wanted to scream, some how stop them but all I did was stand there with my mouth open. Sheryl stood next to me like a matching book end. Finally Mamma jumped in.
“ Well where could she go for that”
Pastern Taylor laughed.
“What do you mean where. Where else but right here with me at Shiloh Baptist is where”
“ Oh” Mamma replied “ she can study with you”
She looked down at me and smiled then looked back to Pastor Taylor and said
“well I don’t see why not”
“Week can start next Saturday” pastor taylor boosted through his big white smile
And Mamma Agreed
Daddy added as we walked away “ our Vernie a preacher”
For the next three months I studied the bible with pastor Taylor
Every Saturday, after my chores where done Daddy would ride me to the church and leave me with pastor taylor until supper.
There I learned about Moses and the Jews who flied Egypt, Solomon and Josiah, and Eli and Samuel. I couldn’t help that this was more than enough punishment. Three months was just crazy. Then one Saturday. I walked in to meet pastor taylor and h had a big smile on his face. I did know why he was so happy nor did I care I just want to get the day over with.
Pastor Taylor reached in his desk and pulled out a box. It was a large blue fabric box with a white silk bow on it. He handed it to me. I didn’t know what to say.
He said “this a gift for you being such a good student. Go ahead open it”
I was the fanciest box I had ever received. I seemed so grown up.
I slid the box top off to find a book. Not just any book but a large leather bound Bible. It was white with gold writing and decorations engraved in ita perfect leather. At the bottom in gold letters was me name, Lavern Sims. I had never seen any thing like it.
I did know what to say. I stood there staring at the bible rubbing the its lovely leather corner. I couldn’t look him in the eye. I simply said “its beautiful , thank you” and walk over to the little desk and chair I studied at. He walked over to me and said
“I thought it would be nice for you to have something of you own to read at home. And also it nice to have something impressive while you preaching.”
Preaching I thought, did he really want me to get up in front of people, and speak.
Pastern Taylor continued “ that’s the other half of my surprise, I want you to preach in two weeks at our church anniversary celebration”
He had to be joking. There was no way this was going to happen.
“It will be great every one will be there it will be our big chance to show you off”
He just continued to talk, I a did hear a word. How was I going to get out of this. If I do preach how will I get through it. I will get up there and every one will know I am a fraud. IM no preacher no prophet of any kind. They are going to run me out of town or at least the church. Ohhh, And poor mamma and Daddy, they will be so ashamed. They will kill me for sure. Poor pastor Taylor, he will look like a foul. A Foul in front of bishop Thomas and all those important people. I didn’t know what to do.
“ Vernie, Vernie did you here me”
“ what ? “ I relied
“ Girl I said I think you should sermonize about The Little Children and Jesus, What do you think about that”
“Yeah sure, that’s fine “ I Said
Pastor Taylor begin immediately on teaching me how to write and preach a sermon. He showed me how to start with a passage and connect it to real life and thought me with words to show with more feeling and why.
Two weeks passed over night and The Shiloh Baptist 75th anniversary day was here.
I sat at the side of the pulpit in my assigned chair waited until it was my time to speak. I feet like I was in an oven. It was March and could not be more that 60 degrees outside. I must have been baking from the inside out. My little sweaty hands shuffled my white index cards with notes on them .I stared down at the carpet waiting for the angry mob. Speeker after speeker took the podium to give a small sermon and a word of congratulation. With each new voice I knew that my time drew closer. Knowing that the butter flies grow bigger in my stomach. I felt as if I would burst. I wish I could pass out now. That way I would not have to do it. That was actually an idea but I was to scared to do that now.
Then I heard it pastor Taylor was introducing me to the congregation. He look over at me and I stood. I thought my need would give out under me but they didn’t. I begin to walk toward him, The room was so quite. I could hear my white tights rustling against the frills of my dress and each other. I heard each shuffle of my little white Mary Janes against the carpet. Pastor Taylor smiled at me and lifted me up on a wood box so that my face would show over the podium. I stared at all the people. The people stared at me. I looked to pastor Taylor he smiled and whisper go on. I leaned to ward the mic and begain to read my passage
“ Mark 10:13-16 says” I stared
“People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”
I felt like such a liar standing there . Felt like a liar I was a liar.
My voice be gain to crack.
“I tell you the truth,” I continued
Tear begin to stream down my face
“anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.”
I begin to cry.
Pastor Taylor walked over and said to me “its ok Lavern , Its ok.”
I whispered ” no I’m I liar”
He put his hand over the microphone and whispered back “ I know, I know”
I continued “ no, I’m a liar. I didn’t get no sprit I was just jokin around and I’m a liar.”
He whispered again “I know” “ I often watch you guys play that game and to tell you the truth I think is a bit funny myself.”
I looked at him with amazement and shame
“The lord has giving you a gift Lavern” he said
“ You have to use it. I doesn’t matter if you get the holy ghost in you body as long as you got the lord in your soul and I know you do. You are a good speaker and you have to use that to spread the word Lavern”
He took his hand of the mike and walked back to his seat. I turned back to the congregation. I continued to speak. I spoke on how Jesus call the little children, And how we cant let thing and people turn us away from the lord. I spoke on Samuel and how even thought he was given to the lord by his parents he still had to answer the call of the lord him self even if that cause meant trouble. I told them that they, we all had to answer I call no matter what. The congregation be gain to clap. They stood, clapped and roared. All of them Bishop Thomas, the guest speakers , momma, Daddy, every one. I looked had at Pastor Taylor he was clapping as well. He walked over and helped me of the box. He patted me on the shoulder and flashed his big white smile, it was bigger than I had ever seen it. I smiled back at him and at myself.
